I wanted to explain what working with me looks like – especially when you are dealing with Emotional or Narcissistic Abuse.
For a long time I focused my business on only Millennial Life Crisis, so I would help women who reached a crossroads in their life. They may have been believing things that they might not actually believe, they might have a bunch of “shoulds” about what they should to be doing, with their time and their work. They might have a degree in something they are not using and don’t want to use. They might be in a relationship they feel they need to be in but don’t want to be in. They may feel like they don’t really know what their own voice sounds like. You get the picture…
And while I love this work, and I still do this work, and I will continue to do this work, I also work with women who are in really toxic relationships. This has always been a part of my business, but as I was attracting more and more clients that were in toxic relationships, I decided it would be in my best interest to get additional training in Narcissistic abuse because it covers abuse – and you really need to understand the intricacies to help people.
If you’re in a toxic relationship, a relationship with a manipulative person, if you feel you’re being gaslit, if you don’t know how to leave a relationship, if you are feeling like you have no self-esteem left and the person you’re with isn’t helping that, then I might be the right person to help you move through it.
Working with me starts with a complimentary Clarity Call. These calls can are scheduled on my website. You can just choose a time that works and book it. It will redirect you to a bunch of questions on where you are right now, what you’re looking for, what you need, what questions you have for me. This will help me frame our call.
The Clarity Call is a time for you to share what’s going on in your life, for me to respond to you, validate you, and let you know how I think I can help (and how I think I might not help if there’s something that comes up). It’s a time for me to share the roadmap of what working together may look like. It’s also a time for you to ask questions.
We will also go over the logistics of working together on the Clarity Call.
From there, should you decide to work with me, we set up a time for a Discovery Session. I will send you a document about 20 questions to prep you for the Discovery Session that is all about you. When you are dealing with an Emotionally Abusive relationship, it can sometimes feel a little out of left field to take a break from the core issues and talk about yourself, but this is really, really important.
Some coaches will put you through a predetermined program. I choose to approach my clients by understanding them first.
Every client that I have goes through a Discovery Session because it’s important for me to understand who you are, what your fears are, where you hold yourself back, the limited beliefs that you have, who is important to you, and a little about your journey.
Without that, I’m really just coaching you from a place of a what I think you should do rather than really understanding who you are and helping you move through your own internal blocks to get to the place you want to be.
If you are (or were) in an Emotionally Abusive or Narcissistic Abusive relationship, there’s a really good chance you don’t even know who you are anymore. You may know a semblance of that, but even going through what you do know is really important.
The Discovery Session is also a time where I will give you the space to unpack more of the relationship and what’s going on. We typically do a lot of that in the Clarity Call, so we will pick up where we left off.
At the end of that call, I will share a bit of a roadmap of where we may go in our work together.
If you are not sure if you want to stay or go, we will work on rightsizing your reality and seeing what’s actually here and what’s going on right now.
You will always be the author of our calls. I might know where we should go when we get on the call, but you are always the author — you set the agenda. When you come to the call, you can bring anything that you want to the call. There isn’t anything I have not talked about (and I really mean that, I have talked about the full range of the human experience). I want to help you feel free and comfortable to come to me with whatever is coming up and whatever fears you have.
I also set up a Slack channel for all of my clients. It’s a private channel between me and you, so that we’re able to communicate in between session. I check the Slack channel about once a day (sometimes more, if I can).
I also set up some boundaries with clients if they are going through it and need to send me some screenshots of what’s going on, or if they need some support.
I know how hard this is and I know how hard it is to choose to see something differently. I want to be there for you.
Many people don’t understand emotional abuse. A lot of people will tell you what you need to do. I will not do that. I’m going to meet you where you are because sometimes having that little support, that validation goes such a long way in your own healing — especially when you felt like you couldn’t talk to anybody before that.
As long as you are “safe” (it is in quotes because there are so many meanings to safe) I will help you exactly where you are. If you are unsafe, I will help you feel safe or leave for a while.
But this is your journey. This is your battle. Not one person could tell me what to do when I was in it. They would give suggestions, they would get mad at me when I didn’t follow them, but they could not tell me what to do. I just didn’t do it – I needed to process it.
Everybody has to go on their own journey. If you are in an Emotionally Abusive relationship, you are in a trauma bond.
For example, I will not tell you no contact. I will tell you no contact if that’s what you are wanting. And then find a way I can support you.
I will not tell you need to leave. That’s a very, very personal decision. My goal will be to make you feel and help you to feel stronger and safer even if you stay.
On my second podcast I mentioned that you can’t make an Abuser change but there are ways in which you can direct conversations or speak in a way to make it known that you are serious.
I will meet you where you are. I’m not going to tell you what to do.
But I am going to provide the most amount of support that I can for you and where you are. That’s always been very important to me. I don’t want you to feel alone.
When I was healing through an Emotionally Abusive situation, I felt like I tapped out all my friends. I also felt like people were very forceful in telling me what I need to do and should be doing. I felt like I couldn’t talk to anybody. I remember writing in my journal that I feel like I’m the only person who understands me.
I don’t want you to feel that way and I am going to seek to be there for you in a way our friends may not have the tools to be.
I am working on a few additional ways to support people in Emotionally Abusive relationships:
- A video series on healing through Emotional Abuse.
- You can sign up for a one-off session called a Relationship Deep Dive. It’s an hour and a half long and there’s no commitment. I will help you exactly where you are. If there’s a need for a follow up or a second session, we can do that. It’s very flexible, and it’s designed for the people that are really freaking stuck right now.
- It is my goal to set up a fund for people that are in Emotionally Abusive situations who don’t have access to money (financial abuse) or do not have the means to get support. This will likely be a few months out, so if you want to be added to a list to be contacted about, email jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com.
If you want to set up a Clarity Call: https://jessicaknightcoaching.as.me/schedule.php?appointmentType=2523892
To email me: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com