When you set a boundary with an abuser, they typically become more abusive. There’s usually no combination of words and technique that you can use to make an abusive person respect your boundaries.
This is actually part of what being an abuser means. When you expect them to act like a respectful person, you’re asking how you can change an abusive person into a non abusive person (which, spoiler alert, you can’t…).
They don’t want to be told to stop yelling, to stop demanding or to treat you with respect.
They will take your detachment, silence and withdraw as an attack.
So what can you do? You can’t change their behavior, you can change your response to it.
If you are wondering how you can set boundaries in your specific situation, please reach out to me: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com