When emotional abuse is taking place, it may be obvious to those on the outside, or it may be very difficult to detect because everything seems “normal”. It may even have been going on for a while, but the attitudes and indications of those involved have become normal and familiar. There are signs you can look for that a person is being abused verbally, psychologically, or emotionally.
The abused person may:
- Feel insecure and have low self-esteem
- Appear depressed or anxious
- Justify everything they say, every thought they have
- Be withdrawn even in the presence of others
- No longer go out and socialize as they used to
- Miss work or other events and responsibilities
- Be preoccupied with pleasing their partner or not upsetting them
- Withhold their real feelings to avoid the other person’s volatile feelings
- Talk about the other person’s negative traits without taking action (because they don’t feel they can take action)
- Talk about the other person’s positive traits—as if to cancel out problematic actions or things they say
- Frequently check with the other for approval, for direction, or to report what they are doing
- Stop to ask permission before agreeing to participate in a social activity
The earlier you can recognize this situation and extend your support and non judgemental ear, the better the chances for resolution and recovery before the abuse escalates to a level even more serious. Be prepared to be with them for a while. Be prepared for the floodgates to open.
Working with a Coach or therapist is important to help them get out of the relationship and work through their thoughts – which will be all over the place, but the support is equally important. They need to know you will not leave them. They need to know they can’t disappoint you.