“Abusive men are masters of excuse making. In this respect they are like substance abusers, who believe that everyone and everything except them is responsible for their actions.”Signs someone is not willing to change abusive behavior” – Lundy Bancroft
- Minimizing abuse and its seriousness.
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Ignoring, dismissing, invalidating, or minimizing your thoughts and feelings.
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Prioritizing their own wants and needs.
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Lack of empathy for you.
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Blaming you for their behavior.
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Refusal to get help.
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Pressuring you to go to couple’s counseling instead of getting individual help.
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Saying they can’t change unless you stay and support them.
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Telling you that you owe them another chance.
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Justifying, excusing, minimizing, and rationalizing their behaviors.
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Trying to get sympathy from you.
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Bargaining (for example: if they get help, you have to do something in exchange)
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Trying to appease you through gifts and false promises.
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Words don’t match actions.